"My wife and I just separated, and someone told us we need a Parenting Coordinator, do we?"

In response to your question, it is unlikely that you need a Parenting Coordinator (“PC”) if you have just separated but you might benefit from help from another professional – a Family Mediator (“FM”). In this blog post, I will explain why, and I make reference to two modalities of family dispute resolution (“FDR”), and specifically Family Mediation, on the one hand, and Parenting Coordination on the other.

Family Mediation is a voluntary process – two parties (often parents) engage in a dialogue about issues on which they do not agree, arising out of their separation. They do so with the assistance of a third-party, namely, the FM. The issue in dispute can relate to parenting, support, property – in fact, any issues facing a separated couple.

Family Mediation is an increasingly common way of addressing family law disputes - including post-separation parenting. Modern family law legislation – both federal (Canada-wide) and provincial (applying in Ontario), in other words laws family courts use every day to resolve family law disputes, now speaks about Family Mediation as an important option for problem-solving in the separation and divorce context. Family court judges encourage litigants (parties to a court case) to try it, where appropriate.

Parents who just separated can truly benefit from working with a FM, particularly if they begin to notice that they are disagreeing on some aspects of their co-parenting. The early involvement of a FM can assist parents in keeping the co-parenting waters as smooth as possible, so to speak. Smoother waters mean less negative impact of inter-parental conflict on the children.

When issues arise post-separation, they can be addressed with the FM with the goal of arriving at a comprehensive Parenting Plan designed to serve as a road map for the parents going forward. FMs routinely assist parents in negotiating parenting plans. This is the bread and butter of Family Mediation.

I am going to continue with my explanation by creating a hypothetical couple, Pat and Sam. They were able to come to an agreement as to their parenting terms, with the assistance of a FM but as time goes on, and for reasons which we do not need to discuss here, their conflict is increasing, and they are having growing difficulty in implementing their Parenting Plan. There is growing and chronic friction, which is already impacting their child. Such a situation may call for the involvement of a PC. This professional, who must be retained by agreement of both parents, would work with Pat and Sam on implementing and interpreting their Parenting Plan. The goal is to disengage the parents, and help them learn how to co-parent without the need for a PC, over time. This is an apt point to highlight an important difference between a FM and a PC – PCs work with parenting arrangements that are already in place – by way of a Parenting Plan, court order or arbitration award, for example. Generally-speaking, FMs work with the parents on creating parenting arrangements from scratch.

There is also an important education component to Parenting Coordination and quite often, PCs work with parents to streamline their communication with one another and with their child, so that the child is shielded from parental conflict. Unlike a FM whose involvement with parents usually ends when the Parenting Plan is negotiated (generally speaking), a PC can be involved with a family anywhere from 24 to 36 months. The role of a PC can be compared to that of a case-manager or project-manager. The PC gathers information along the way from the child’s educators and health care providers, as well as any therapists who may be involved with the child or the parties. The PC’s role is to manage the parenting issues based on the terms of the Parenting Plan, and to assist the parents in resolving issues as they come up. If you are interested in learning more about the role of a PC – including the permitted scope of their involvement, visit here.

There is another key difference between a FM and a PC – Parenting Coordination is a two-phase process. In the first: - education and consensus-building phase, the PC attempts to mediate the issue in dispute. If the parents still cannot agree, the process moves into the second, decision-making phase, and the PC has the power to arbitrate the issue – in other words, make a binding decision on it, which is enforceable by family court.

Back to the initial question: this recently-separated couple may benefit from the involvement of a FM – who would help them negotiate a Parenting Plan. It is too early for the involvement of a PC – because parenting arrangements are not yet in place – and for this reason, there is nothing yet for the PC to interpret or implement.

To learn more about my Family Mediation & Parenting Coordination services, please visit: www.mettamediation.ca or call us at (905) 898-8500.

©AJJakubowska