About Confidentiality - Talking to your lawyer

We are all entitled to privacy. This extends to (and  is perhaps most important in) a family law case.  If you are separated or are considering separating, keep in mind the following:

1.       If you retain a lawyer or if you consult with him or her, your communications (verbal and in writing) are confidential (we use the word “privileged”). For lawyers, the obligation to keep the information they obtain confidential (other than in the context of a court case) is in place for his or her lifetime.

2.       You need to work on keeping those communications confidential and by this I mean, do not expose them to being heard or read by others.  What do I mean? Do not leave letters from your lawyer visible or accessible if there are people who may have access to them, in the home or elsewhere. When speaking with your lawyer, turn your mind to who may be listening. Are you in the home, with your spouse still there? Is he/she on another phone? Did you think they were in the basement but they are just around the corner? I think I have made my point.

3.       It is best to think of electronic communication as NOT being confidential. That is a good departure point which will make you turn your mind to checking whether it actually is. We have had some experience with Cloud and problems it can cause post-separation if specific arrangements are not made to end the connection between various members of the household. Did you give your spouse the password to your email in the past? Do they have access to your Facebook account? Once you separate or if you are considering separating, it is best to set up a fresh email account for the purposes of communicating with your lawyer and to make all other necessary arrangements to secure access to your social media. There are companies out there that can do a “sweep” of your electronics as well, to make sure they are not “bugged”.

4.       Do not have sensitive, best-left-to-adults conversations in front of the children or within their earshot.  Not only does that put them in a very difficult position in terms of psychological pressure (more about that in another post), they may become innocent, pressured conveyors of information. Sadly, there are parents who pressure children into passing information between households. Children are not very good at keeping secrets – once they have a piece of information, it is more than likely they will pass it on – for many good reasons, shield your children from hearing about subjects which should be left to adults.

©AJJakubowska